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Mutual Mystification

Thomas Waites

What is Mutual Mystification?

Mutual mystification occurs when a salesperson and a prospect are misaligned due to differing expectations that they have not clarified or addressed.

The result is that neither the salesperson nor the prospect has a clear understanding of what’s happening next in the sales process.

But then the prospect ghosted you? Or things fell apart after your follow-up email? Or during the next call, they said they were “thinking about it” or that things were “on pause”?

This can be puzzling for salespeople. Why does this happen? Usually, it’s because of mutual mystification or happy ears.

What are Happy Ears?

When a salesperson has happy ears, it means they only hear what they want to hear. They focus solely on the positive aspects and ignore (or choose not to uncover) potential roadblocks, challenges, and ambiguities that will prevent them from closing the deal.

For example, if a customer mentions they’re planning a BIG expansion on your platform, you might be so overwhelmed with excitement that it clouds your situational awareness (see: Disruptive Emotions). You’re beaming with enthusiasm and forget to ask crucial questions about budget, approvals, and other stakeholders. Alternatively, you might be too scared to ask these questions, fearing you’ll jeopardize the opportunity. You don’t want to mess it up! Inevitably, the ‘deal’ stalls and never closes.

Quick Tips for Avoiding Mutual Mystification & Happy Ears

  • Communicate Assertively

    • Avoid and clarify wishy-washy words.

  • Actively Listen

    • Actively listening ensures you truly know what’s going on. It also allows you to ask the right clarifying questions.

  • Confirm Understanding

    • Ensure you understand what your prospect has shared.

    • Make sure your prospect understands what you have shared.

    • ‘Clear your plate’ by asking questions and inviting or making space for objections before moving to a new topic.

      • Example: “Do you have any questions?”

      • Example: “Does that make sense?”

      • Example: “Would you like to do that?”

  • Ensure They Are Qualified

  • Ask Discovery Questions

    • Get a full understanding of their decision-making process

  • Agree on What Happens Next

    • Clearly communicate the next steps.

    • Define what you will do and what your prospect will do.

    • Ensure that you have their explicit agreement: “Yes” or “Not”, not “Maybe”


Additional Resources